Leadership: Dispensing Correction. A great question can be raised, how do you handle when you know people are out of line.
The first answer is always to pray for that person out of love. God may reveal to that person how they need to change. I remember a young lady who is working on my youth ministry team who had an issue with how she dressed, showing an awful lot of cleavage every Sunday. I prayed about it, the very next Monday she showed up wearing a pantsuit that was completely modest.
The second answer is always to pray and ask God to change you first. If you go into confrontation as your freshly self, your flesh might get involved. Before we correct someone, we need to make sure that its not just our issues getting in the way. Cultural differences, gender differences, all these things can cause an offense. An example might be in black church showing up on time does not necessarily value as much as it is and white church. Collecting someone on a cultural issue like this may just be in sensitivity on your part.
The third answer is to pray, how does God want you to handle the situation? Do you need to do some research on how to deal with this issue? Is there a word of knowledge God has for you on what's going on with this person? Are they struggling with an issue, and the bad behavior you're seeing is just a symptom? Can you be there to heal them and help them, and behavior will correct itself because the root cause was dealt with?
The fourth answer is to pray about if this is spiritual warfare? Is this a person carrying out an assignment of the enemy to get under your skin or distract you from your purpose? Is there a spiritual force it was that you need to discern and take authority over? Is this something that is assaulting you in your faith or temper? Praying that God will help you to discern the spiritual root of the issue will always make you more effective at binding it, kickin it out, or dealing with it.
The fifth answer is to be very sensitive to the leading of the Holy Spirit in dealing with the issue. It may be while preaching that He releases you too comment broadly on the issue and teach the resolution without specifically calling that person out, rather than going directly to the person. Recently while preaching as a guest speaker in another church the Holy Spirit had me to stop and treat the issue of spousal abuse very thoroughly, even though it wasn't in my notes. The spirit was telling me there was someone in the audience who needed to hear it. The pastor took me aside later and was laughing because he had not been released to deal with a man in the church who he knew was abusing his wife, but I as a stranger not knowing the situation I was able to preach on it without condemnation. I'm sure that man was particularly uncomfortable well I was dealing with the subject for about 5 minutes!
The last step is to follow the biblical order for confrontation in Matt 18. Be gentle, be loving, be understanding, but be firm. Don't allow the issue to wander into other issues, stay on focus. Don't do it out of your flash, if you're losing your temper, the issue is with you not with them. Remember your own faults and shortcomings, and the grace that God has given you. Give them that same grace.
Prov 27:5 better is an open rebuke the love that is concealed. Prov 17:10 a rebuke impresses a discerning person more than 100 lashes for a fool. Prov 9:8 do not rebuke a mocker or he will hate you, rebuke a wise man and he will love you.
Some people are fools, and you will not get through to them. They will laugh, or rage, and there will be no peace. Just realize you're dealing with a fool, I didn't say that, the Bible did! But if things go badly, you have to check yourself, learn what you could have done better, and realize that you may not have been the right. Let God work in your heart so the next time you do better.
Just like 1st Corinthians 13 says, everything has to be done out of love. Check yourself closely, that there's not some contentious spirit in you, a desire to just be right, or show how much you know. Truth and kindness. God is love.
Leadership: Dispensing Correction http://disciplecmcblog.blogspot.com/2015/03/leadership-dispensing-correction.html